Car wars: How to avoid fighting with your partner or spouse

You have been longing for this trip for some quality time with your better half. This is your chance to embrace the freedom of a long drive. It all starts perfectly - until you argue about what music to play or the air conditioner temperature. You all of a sudden feel trapped and wish you did not plan the trip in the first place.

It’s natural for couples to argue while traveling. One is obviously used to doing things a certain way and, sooner or later, both parties will need to compromise. After all, the main point of the trip is being able to spend time together. So both of you have to adjust to each other’s preferences.

Vehicles are argument incubators

It is best to take control of the situation by being honest to your partner, have a moment of silence, allow both parties to calm down before deciding to settle matters.

While the reasons for arguments on the road differ, there are common ways they can resolve their problems. Here are a few tips brought by Philkotse.com to address these, and fight less on the road.

1. Be organized

Most arguments during a trip come from worrying that something can go wrong or that a very important item was left at home. Make a checklist of things to bring and an agenda of stops you want to make on the way to your final destination.

You have to plan your trip beforehand

Before leaving, go through the list together so both parties are assured that nothing was left behind. Review the trip itinerary so the party driving will not be surprised or distressed with stops along the way. Being organized together can enable things to go smoothly for your trip and your relationship.

>>> Check out these 8 useful apps to plan your next road trip

2. Get a lot of sleep

The lack of sleep can make people (drivers and passengers), easily irritated or have short tempers. Avoid sleeping later than your usual bedtime, and remind your better half and children to do the same.

If you lack sleep, this can trigger your emotions and can start an argument even with the slightest issues that can arise during a trip.

3. Plan activities that you both enjoy

Your idea of a good time might be different from your spouse’s definition of one. You might prefer visiting tourist attractions, while she or he might enjoy other adventures like zip-lining or scuba diving.

Discuss what you both would like to do and try out the activities the other one enjoys. Be happy to compromise and stay away from arguments to ensure that you both bring home beautiful memories from your travel.

Do things you both enjoy and create beautiful memories

>>> Worth to note: Best in-car entertainment ideas to fight boredom while in a long drive.

4. Make a memory while on the road

Some may feel cornered or imprisoned inside a vehicle, especially during long trips or heavy traffic. Remember that this is not the best place and time to discuss critical or long-standing issues.

Choose to create new memories by stopping by places where you can take photos, experience new things, dine at places you have never been. While on the road, try listening to an audiobook or share your dreams, like planning a trip abroad soon.

5. Discuss your thoughts

If you really need to discuss something, for example, your fears of visiting your in-laws, talk about it before putting the key in the ignition. This will hopefully lessen your worries before hitting the road and avoiding arguments, or even resolve the issue altogether.

6. Stay calm

For the sake of your safety while driving and your relationship, car talk should be quiet and peaceful. If you should raise an important topic, check with your partner first if he or she is prepared to discuss it. Give an option to delay the conversation for another day.

Be ready for a serious conversation, just be mindful of what you say 

7. Avoid criticizing your partner

Don’t criticize or attack your partner, especially on the road. If you have any concerns that you need to bring up, state it as positively as possible, then catch up with a constructive thought on how things can go differently next time.

For instance, if there is an unexpected delay on your trip because your gas tank is empty after your partner borrowed your vehicle, you can say that you would appreciate it if they can fill up the gas again after using it instead of saying that they are selfish to just let the gas tank go empty.

>>> Read 5 helpful guides to prepare your car to avoid unexpected delay on your trips.

8. Avoid upsetting topics

If both of you have agreed to talk about a sensitive subject, remain on point and do not veer away from the issue. Try not to raise additional topics that are irrelevant to what you agreed to talk about. This would just aggravate the problem. Focus on resolving the issue, instead of enumerating faults.

Try not to discuss matters like unresolved issues before or during the ride. Keep in mind that most couple conflicts are never entirely settled. Know when to let go.

While we may want to make things work and fix a bad situation, sometimes the answer is just to walk away and let go

9. Call for a time out

Nobody knows you better than yourself. When you are about to reach the boiling point, ask for a time out. Everyone has a way to calm down and bring themselves back on track. You can listen to music, or pull over for a coffee break or a short walk.

10. Practice compassion

Keep in mind that conflict is a creative opportunity. Listen cautiously and calmly express yourself with empathy and compassion. This behavior can provide you a better understanding of each others' point of view and create an opportunity for powerful teamwork.

Conflict is a creative opportunity that can make your bond stronger

11. Use a code word

In case you're anticipating sensitive matter, use a code word which has been pre-agreed on to signify that discussion is on hold. This is the point when either of you feels outraged or is overpowered by emotions. Use the code word to delay the discussion until after the trip.

>>> Click here for more useful tips and advice for smart driving.